endless lit streets and paper cranes

That's one long title. Im freaking pissed la. everytime my handphone beeps i have to fight the want to chuck my phone really hard on the floor.

Anyway.

Went out with Singyi today. Woo fun! We met in town at 2 and went to heeren, wisma, taka, far east and lido. We even took neos for old time's sake. I'll upload the neos when i get access to the scanner.

We had lunch at Breeks and bought stuff from Far East. We tried the fried mars bar and its uber yummy, albeit fattening.

Dinner at Coffee Bean. Salads! We were there for nearly two hours, laughing like the pair of ninnies we are over the stupidest things.

I'll upload the pics another time. Feeling damn lazy to open up photobucket.

Some genius stocked up the fridge with Diet Snapple that has zero calories -im a sucker for these kinda things, true or otherwise- and im sipping one now as we speak.

Going to dye my hair tomorrow, if my mom still feels generous anyway. I want to pierce my nose becuase i feel the need for change. I shall consult me mom on that and see how.

How happy i am that Monday's a public holiday. Bliss!

I had a good time laughing with Steve last night over myheritage.com. you know, the website that lets you upload your photos and does a scan to see which celeb you resemble the most? Of course results vary with the pictures and you get a few suggested resemblances per pic but yeah. Freaking funny.

Some people i wanna have in my life for the rest of my life.

Classes didnt start until 2 today so i got to wake up late. Dragged meself out of bed at 10.30 to transfer a few songs from my NEC lappie to this one.

Was so engrossed in chatting online at the same time i was running late so i had to take a freaking cab to school. Ahhh my $12..

Had only one class today. Location video production i think its called. We (will) learn how to operate a camera and shoot short films so its pretty cool. My lecturer is soooo cute luh! Cute in a teddy bear cute sorta way anyway.

Didnt go for track because my stomach was mudering me. I thought id be ok after a hot meal so i ate the rice my dad bought for me. Who knew, i still felt like shit and ended up er, puking everything out. Sorry that was gross! My stomach constantly feels locked and eating is such a pain that i never seem to have any appetite these days.

Ah shut mona, all that self pitying drivel is pathetic.

Anyway. im way way way psyched for tomorrow. Dont have much moolah on me to buy stuff but my pay will be in on either Sunday or Monday so i'lljust borrow money from me mom first.

Aite im going to go do stuff.

Im not trying to be a saint or anything but yeah.

My friend sent me the link for the Colin and Kero blog and i have to say, they're really brave and deserve some sort of form of praise.

They dare to be open about their sexuality, which is one against the norm. If i decided to be les, I SAID IF, and posted that up here, and have people constantly coming to my blog and telling me how im sick and that i need to get my brain checked, i think id go insane.

And then you read the comments in their tagboards. Tsk.

How hard is it to accept that people are gay? Where exactly is the need for the vicious comments, and a better question would be what kind of sick form of satisfaction can you get out of leaving these vicious comments? I mean, before you knew them it never affected you so why is it that now it affects you so badly you're driven to post stuff on their tagboard?

I mean, if you dont like it, then leave it alone! Its like you cant stand this person, would you go all out of your way just to run into them just so you can find more reasons to hate them? Its a normal human instict which obviously is not working for the lameass taggers- if you dont like something, avoid it.

Like duh, like that's so hard?

I really dont get it.

They're not harming anyone, they're simply coming out and i think thats commendable. Leave them alone!! They're not killing whales or chopping down forests! If you have to get so passionate about something, use the energy for a worthy cause man. At least this shows singapore is becoming more open, much like the US and UK.

Aite. i think im going to just go.

Lesson was uber slack. Web Graphics.

Was taught another function of photoshop, pretty cool though. Still i have to admit i was tinkering around friendster,blogs and online window shopping as Steve puts it.

Was released an hour early so i went home to rest. Yes i am very very lazy.

My muscles are weridly acting up and still aching from yesterday. Track again tomorrow.

Classes start late tomorrow too so i can sleep in abit more. Psyched for Sat!

Bought my school books today. Two costed me like what, $80? Horror of horrors.

um that's it i guess.

Didn’t get home until late yesterday and was too tired to update then.

Classes yesterday were totally retarded. Sport and wellness –PE- for the first two hours. We had to choose what we wanted and I wanted to do badminton but the seats for signing up filled up within like, 10 seconds so I ended up in orienteering with Charmaine. Reading maps and stuff. Bright side, I’ll never get lost ever again. LOL.

Then we had this class called CATS. Creative and thinking skills. Bah. It was like, two hours of sitting in groups and talking.

Its official, classes on Wednesday are damnx10 slack. Was even released early at like, 11.30. The lecturer is damn nice luh.

Flagged a cab and went down to RP to meet Singyi for lunch at Causeway. We had Sakae and talked about all sorts of sutff. It was fun- cant wait for sat!!

Took a train back and waited for Xiuling. I read this book by Marcel Proust I took from my mom and its fascinating. His writing abilities are amazing. But it’s a heavy book, I took like, 2 hours to finish reading 20 pages. I cant wait to finish the series though. But apparently this literary critic took 6 years to finish his 6 books so yeah, this is going to take me a long while. LOL.

Then we went for track. My legs felt like mush after practice, I could barely walk.

Rushed home, bathed, changed and then went out again. I crashed the minute I got home. Luckily classes don’t start until 3 on Thursdays.

Im loving school so far. But its tiring dragging myself down to clementi everyday. Other than that, all’s good and I guess I really shouldn’t be complaining.

Im going to meet my mom for lunch and then im going to school. Im drafting this update on the train as we speak. Makes the journey to raffles more bearable, although im pretty sure people are staring at me and my white Mac.

Later.

Im going to pull a Steve and do the random-things-i-bet-you-didnt-know-about-me.

-even if i have school, i'll sleep at anytime i want even though i know i'll be like death the next day.
-i love reading trashy novels
-i only eat scrambled eggs if there's milk in it, but dont really like milk on its own
-one of my nails will break every 2 days
-i have only 6 bucks left in my bank account
-i hate mooching cash off my parents
-i have around 10 types of facial prodcuts i never use
-the cheesiest song i have in my ipod is 1000 Miles
-i got these bruises on my knuckles that make fantastic conversation starters
-im not a vegan anymore, i just had to have my meat
-i make it a point to drink 1 can of fizzy drink whenever i fall ill. i get well after that, really
-i torture my brother like hell, but only IM allowed to do it. anyone else dies
-75% of my books are not educational or moral
-the most expensive pair of jeans i own costed $432 before using staff purchase
-i was kinda freaking out the day before school started
-im freaking kiasu
-i only got one green form, and i wasnt even in the wrong
-i had pneumonia back in pri 6
-i always start preparing to go out at least 1hr 30mins before hand
-im unreasonable
-im a label snob
-there was one point of time my system was so fucked up, i needed coffee to sleep
-i miss the comfort of secondary school life
-i was in choir, badminton, erhu and baskeball in pri school
-i like being in charge, but im too lazy to be in charge
-im neurotic about certain things
-if my desk is messy, i start breaking out in cold sweat, no shit
-i act tought alot
-i think that we all should show vulnerability, but i myself hate doing just that
-i emulate alot of fictional characters
-i fucking hate hello kitty
-ditto bloody boybands whose members RELIGIOUSLY have long floppy hair
-i turn off the aircon before i sleep
-i fight for the corner seat in the train. even old ladies dont stand a chance
-i love grapes, especially green seedless ones
-ironically, i LOVE TO EAT.
-i feel high when i wear flats. makes me wanna jump around alot
-im very very lame. very lame.
-i start twitching when i see ah lians
-i tend to be very judegemental, critical and cynical
-using my fingertips to kill ants grosses me out
-i did i litmus paper test once to see how healthy i am and my level of acidity was within the highest range
-i colour code my clothes
-the skin on my hand is so dry, it looks corpse-like
- i can go one whole day without speaking. blogging included
-i didnt have to take my BCG shot, so i got to sit around and watch others cry from fear

guess thats more interesting than the regular i did this i did that blah blah blah nonsense i normally write.

I just clicked the 'publish post' button and everything disappeared.

-________________________________-"

Righto. First day was good, it was all-lectures today but i liked it. the lecturers are nice, for now anyway. :P

the only bad thing about today was that i er, kinda didnt screw the cap on my bottle properly so half my bag was wet and my ipod is now fried. as in, I CANT FRIGGING USE IT!!! fuck. im going to have to get it fixed and hoho, guess who's pocket its gonna come out of?

yours truly.

uuuum. i went for track today, to see how it was and im definitely going to stay on. the people seem really cool and i loved the feeling of pushing my lazy-ass body. so alls good. the only thing is im going to have to go to gym on sundays, or bribe my way into safra because nothing can make me go to the bloody yishun swimming complex. it looks and smells as though it hasnt been clean for decades. and that's after the renovation mind you.

im supposed to be meeting Xiuling at 8.15 tomorrow, so im supposed to be asleep now but ironically i dont feel in the least bit tired or sleepy.

oh and, im doing all this on my apple notebook, which is filling me up with such a sense of accomplishment because i was tinkering with the settings for the past one hour. woo!

Well, today i say goodbye to staying online until 4am, waking up at 1pm, watching spongebob squarepants on telly and bumming around.

School tomorrow. God it feels weird saying that. After what, 5 months of brainnumbing days suddenly its BAM, back to books and back to having to think.

Its a challange. And i welcome it.

Went to town today with the whole family for abit of light shopping. I got my crumpler bag at last, mascara because mine has finished and a top. Got home and i crashed until 7. My head is pounding now, where's panadol when you need it anyway.

Singyi was in town too. she got BOTH the Guess? and AX jacket she wanted. Humph. Lucky thing. We've agreed to meet up every saturday with stephen and maybe rajiv to just sit around and laugh and destress. yay saturdays!

K imma go and transfer data into my apple notebook.

Went to town with Singyi, Vase, Tash, Rajiv and Steve today.

I had a hell lot of fun luh.

We watched the movie "boy eats girl". Hur. It has a sucky plot, an ugly lead actress and the dumbest ending.

Dont watch it, really.

Singyi and i brought in subway. Ahh heaven.

Then we went to wheelock place where i had every intention to buy my crumpler bag but the damn machine refused to card my visa -i know i still have money in my account, i checked it online- and i was too lazy to go down and draw money and go up again so nevermind, tomorrow.

from there we went to far east and walked around. i bought my first pair of converse shoes!!

to think, 17 years of my life and ive yet to own a pair of converse until today.

right. i bought a white tee and a black sleeveless top. there was this kinda cute white sleeveless top but you have to wear something inside and singyi was right, it looks damn cartoon. there was also this translucent blue spag top (to wear with a white halter inside) that looked so nice but i didnt get it. why ar?

oodles of new stuff at topshop and warehouse. gonna bring my dad/mom down tomorrow. im slowly but surely turning broke.

then we went to heeren (marche) for dinner.

appetizing picture aint it?

i saw clara and donald there. clara if ure reading this i wanna kill you. u have such a nice body!

that sounded perverse.

ran into 3 people i met thru work today. kinda miss the days of work. i went back to m60 to pass them the picture CDs i owe them. ahh nostalgia. :P

but yeah. i had alot of fun la today. stephen and rajiv are surprisingly really good (male) shopping partners. they wont whine like some guys and mope outside the shop, and i can actually get opinions from them. and they're a laugh a minute. i was choking on my coke in marche.

i think there's another outing next sat. PSYCHED!!

At risk of sounding like one of those "go school go!!!" cheerleading ambassardor enthusiast, i like ngee ann poly.

ok so i was feeling more lost than ive been for the past 5 months this morning when registering but it all smoothed out. my class has only 20 people, which is just fine with me. cozy-ish.

and one of them was my cousin's classmate. whatta small world.

so i was late even though i was in clementi early. i freaking took the wrong bus and headed back to jurong east. -_-"

luckily Ezza told me otherwise id have been even more lost.

i think im going to join track and field with another girl i hung out with today. i want a sports related CCA that doesnt meet on Saturday and has nothing to do with chlorinated/salt water so..

at least i'll be able to keep fit. i guess i'll do long distance or sprints. nevermind i'll go on monday and see how things go. better not say so much, ha later i wind up being too slow.

im pretty psyched for school on monday. LOL.

going out shopping tomorrow for school essentials.

Today has been a productive day.

Got up at 1 and was in front of the telly until 3, where i did a nice sisterly act and took my brother swimming.

Right people together now: "awwww!"

But the swimming was NOT good. i was near collaspe after 6 laps, which really sucks because i try to average 20 everytime. my stamina has gone to pot! this is not good.

not only that, the pool was crowded and hoho, apart from another mother, i was the only female. ew?

and then it started to pour so badly i had to call a cab.

anyway. i got back home, did a pore back and did housework. i vaccumed and mopped the floor, dusted the furniture and did the laundry.

oh my, i am being good today. so family orientated all of a sudden. weird.

i just finished a face mask -ZA whitening essence, yes i intend to have PAPER white skin- and will do the cucumber pad thing on my eyes before i sleep later.

and no, i havent done my hair yet. i thought my 7 days worth of pay would be in but it isnt, and wont be in until end of the month. that sucks. verily. i'll have to be stuck with horrid hair until next week.

and to think that both my parents offered to pay/loan me the money for my hair and i decided to be noble and turn them down. why mona why??

orientation tomorrow. its so weird im only going to orientation tomorrow when practically everyone else i know has already started school. i feel so, slow.

-wow this is a long entry- i have decided to bag speech day with vasellia on sat and go shopping with singyi, vase, rajiv and steve instead. haha like duh. lemme weigh the options..

1 minute of glory in exhange for prolly 1 hour worth of speeches and boring performances i dont care to see (no offence to the choir)

OR

shopping in town with my old friends, catching up and having fun in exhange for new stuff ? (a.k.a money spent but nevermind)

HAHAHAHAHA. :P

Im so pissed, so angry and so can-i-please-strangle-someone mood the next person to fucking annoy me is going to fucking get it.

Obviously im not stupid enough to publish for the whole wide bloody world to see what exactly is the reason for all my supposed fury but i need just need a fucking outlet ok?

And nor am i being attention seeking blah blah blah. im not forcing anyone to read my blog so the next loser who intends to accuse me of the above on my tagboard, kindly get lost and go screw your mom.

how the fuck is it that one can be so angry at someone, and yet feel bad at the same fucking time? And since when did i stoop to the level of feeling bad for people im angry at? Jesus christ im being such a pathetic piece of shit. ARGH!!

(and yes i know i just committed blasphemy -however you spell it.)

i want to just lock myself up in my room and avoid social interaction unless absolutely necessary for the rest of my life thank you very much. no im being all depressed-so-i-shall-go-slit-my-wrist. god forbid i stoop that low. ever had times you just want to be alone, and not have to make stupid chit chat with people? well this is one of those times and the most annoying thing is, i freaking cannot justify why im feeling this way. nor can i justify the sudden burst of anger. i was freaking stabbing away at my table with a hairclip while i was waiting for the com to boot up. oh my god im turning into some kind of freak.

i reckon i have some psychological damage somewhere. could be all the cranial injuries ive suffered. ah fuck this, i dont even know why the hell im ranting here. its like opening up a bloody door and screaming for people to come in and annoy me.

and hoho, i cant talk to no one about this!!! i swear im going to end up in an institute. i think im too secretive for my own good. ah who the hell cares.

re-reading the above, i think its called mood swings. hahahahhaha.

oh and, just to prove im still perfectly sane -and contradicting everything i just said above- i cant wait to sleep.

this entry is pretty much as informative -and useful- as last year's copy of Cleo but so what.

i think i'll go take a nice long cold shower and stop annoying everyone unfortunate enough to read this entry.

In my opinion, the seven deadly sins arent just lust, envy, pride, wrath, gluttony, vanity and sloth.

They seemed to have left out chocolates.

Mars bars in fact. How can something so good be so wrong??

Update on my day.

I rolled -literally- out of bed at 2, watched tv and slept at 6. Woke up at 7 for dinner, watched telly and have been reading till now.

Didnt go swimming because the weather sucked. Didnt collect my ez link card either because i mixed up the dates.

Going to get my hair done tomorrow, even though i didnt call to make any appointments. Hope they'll do it for me anyway.

And i want to say something about men/guys/male species.

They're all just so damn predictable.

oh, and even though im not in NVSS anymore, i just HAVE to add this.

Miss Thomas sucks balls.

She's the lousiest and most unprofessional teacher ive ever had the misfortune to meet. Someone really should sit in on her lessons and see what the hell she's actually doing, because as an educator, she fails miserably.

And no, i dont care if she reads this. So sue me fat ass.

Today was.. confusing at best.

Met up with Stephen in town first. bought BOTH the books i wanted. Muahaha. ive finished the a-list one, now onto the second one. Woo imma nerd!

then we met up with the twins and their friends for lunch and some tour de workplace. i could be the most deeply suspicious person you could ever meet in this lifetime.

then 4 hours later, we went to dinner at Riciotti. i love paninis, LOVE.

going to school tomorrow to collect my ezlink card. like its so hard to just mail it to me? i'll be doing my hair on weds instead. i'll force myself to go to town tomorrow to buy the clothes for speech day because currently, nothing in my wardrobe fits the dress code.

Dress code, pft.

fucking full now, ive consumed more calories in the past 12 hours than i have in the past week. cant wait to swim tomorrow.

The latest book in the a-list series is finally in stock. woo! online book services rock! imma drag my lazy ass down to town tomorrow and pick it up.

going out tomorrow, must squeeze in time to go buy my book.

got up at around noon and spent the day at home until around 2-ish. went to northpoint with me mom.

bought face mask, eye pads and a pair of camouflauge-print pants from esprit. i think they're no longer in season but i just like it. its a tad bit too small (an inch or so off my waist and it would fit perfectly) but they'll be my lose-weight pants. lol.

didnt go swimming because damn safra doesnt open to public on weekends. and yishun swimming complex is filthy. i dont dare imagine the -urg- changing room area.

ive got ten million pimples on my face, URG URG URG!!!

on a brighter note, im going to do my hair on tuesday after i pick up my ez-link card from school.

Im back.

was in oz land for 4D 3D 'cause had to help out me aunt.

she stays an hour away from town. hur. So not much done on the shopping front and i was only in town for one miserable day. even then i didnt buy much.

the sydney opera house though was spectacular. really picturesque. i'll upload photos some other time, im really really beat now. jet lag i think.

and i got hooked onto swimming there. i love the pools, there are actual diving boards- the type im sure you've seen in Mr. Bean. so fun! definitely going to continue with the swimming, its exercise without feeling like exercise.

went back-to-school shopping with Singyi today as planned before i left. we had so much fun luh. we went to bugis, suntec and then marina square. i think we contributed about $600 to the economy today.

and i learned about her obsession with racer backs and Guess?/French Connection, like she learned about my obsession with all things stripped. : P

she: 2 racer tops , 4 sleeved tops and 1 pair of heels.

me: 5 tops (2 for mom), 2 pairs of flats and 1 skirt.

amazingly, that skirt was the one i wanted 1 year ago but couldnt afford. and it was on sale this time round! woo singyi's my lucky shopping companion! muahaha.

the skirt was from Skin at Marina Square. its so cool. they have brands like ElectricBarbella, True Religion, (original) Von Dutch, Ed Hardy etc etc.

(its one of those stores we non-rich people can to only ONCE in a very long while. sigh, sad sad case isnt it?)

yes, we're prepared- somewhat- for school. psyched for next sat, we're going shopping again.

i think im going to go sleep early today.

Tristan and Isolde.

The best best best best weekend-priced movie tix ive paid for in a long time. Man it was one hell of a movie!

Rating: 10/5 thumbs up.

I know im a sucker for middle ages movies but still! You'd be an idiot not to watch it, really. Brotherhood, loyalty and true love all rolled into one movie.

And for the people who think a good movie is only a good movie when there's bloodshed in it, i think i should add that Tristan and Isolde had gruesome fight scenes.

Oh man oh man. The movie made me want to find myself a Tristan and move to Britian. I should also add i dont normal rave about movies, so yes, the movie was ~~pretty~~ fucking good. The ending was so sad, it was amazingly touching.

Sadly, i highly doubt that there are even any local men like Tristan. This movie really sets a high standard for us girls and an even higher standard that all guys should (try to) follow. Its apparently based on a true story.

Shit. I cant believe men used to be like that! born in the wrong century, wrong country.

yingyong, erika and i ate at billy bombers, walked aimlessly around far east and heeren and found our way back to yishun in sheer desperation for something to do.

must must do it again.

cant wait to sleep actually. the prospect of being able to sleep in tomorrow is so so inviting. that and the prospect of eating Japenese tomorrow.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PING!

Being all lit geek-y but there you go. Another chapter in the book of life finished, another one waiting to start. and like every book ive read, some bits just keep on replaying in my head, some i dont even remember reading.

Last day was excessively busy. Um. Relief-ed lunch at ise-fucking-tan. URG URG URG.

Met Jane there and we had subway. Walked around, Agnes B. Eiffel tower!!!

new stocks came in today. hah. my last chance to steam/tag/fold new stocks.

so emo!!

went to wisma after work, picked up my jeans, waited for dad and got a ride home.

oh the days of bumming around doing nothing.

going to town tomorrow with Erika. im sick of town, really s.i.c.k. bugis actually sounds refreshing, but she wants her dress.

being unnecessarily vain right now. doing a face mask for my dry and disguisting skin. like anyone's going to notice the difference. pft. like i said,

unnecessary.

stil have to wake up early tomorrow. sending my mom off to the airport, she's going to bangkok till monday. rest for a day, and its off to aus with us on tuesday.

taking orders for roxy, quiksilver and ab&fitch. who wants to add on??

p/s, im starting to hate the way i blog.

pp/s, just realized the amount of FATS i have is prolly enough to feed a small country for a week. calling all/any cannibals!

Some photos of the dinner and today.

all of us at swensons.

the stuff heaven's made out of

Ping's birthday cake.

how many triangles do you see?

I feel so... left out!

Been working at Ise-bloody-tan for the past two days as a lowly PROMOTER, er, promoting Energie bags.

One word: BORING!?!

Its hell being a promoter. Even if im hard up for a job next time, you'd have to KILL me to be a promoter, or hypnotize, because no way in hell will i ever give my consent.

As in, ON MY OWN FREE WILL.

Well, going to collect my laptop tomorrow -in bloody town- head home and then probably go to school and check out the speech day rehearsals. and return my long overdue choir dress. This month marks the 6th months overdue.

Going to bed now. Damn tired.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY APRIL!

Just got home from the dinner thing.

You're right Jane, i AM online again. Ah cant help it, its a bad habit that i have no intention to kick.

The dinner was ok. The ice cream part was the best tho, Earthquake. Yum.

Not alot of pictures, just one group shot. I didnt go to the KTV but loaned them my cam, so no pictures till tomorrow.

Not that anyone cares but..

Went to town really early to get my book from Kino. I was so early, kino wasnt even open. Argh im such a loser. Nerdy nerdy bookworm!

The day flew by.

Well, ive done the inevitable and tendered in my resignation. I feel so bad leaving just like that but it wasnt even MY idea. Im going to get some form of payback for that. no one puts me in that kind of position and gets away with it. Im really really pissed.

Got my jeans back from alteration. I think its a bit too short but im not that tall anyway so no matter.

Im going to miss everyone -frowns.

I got this nasty feeling i screwed up the alteration of my jeans. I had him take in the legs about an inch because they were to baggy but now. Dunno, come what may.

Supposed to be at a birthday chalet. But its all the way at Pasir Ris. feel bad, argh.

Dinner tomorrow. Finally, pictures!

Way way way overate today, i feel like a dumpling.

And my book from kino is finally here, i got them to reserve it. I'll be going to town earlier tomorrow to buy it before work so i can read it during breaks and not eat. yay lit!

You scored as English. You should be an English major! Your passion lies in writing and expressing yourself creatively, and you hate it when you are inhibited from doing so. Pursue that interest of yours!

English

100%

Theater

83%

Journalism

83%

Sociology

83%

Psychology

83%

Philosophy

75%

Linguistics

67%

Dance

58%

Mathematics

42%

Anthropology

33%

Biology

33%

Art

33%

Engineering

25%

Chemistry

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

If you were coming in the fall,
I'd brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn,
As housewives do a fly.

If i could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls,
And put them each in seperate drawers,
Until their time befalls.

If only centuries delayed
I'd count them on my hand,
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen's Land.

If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I'd toss it yonder like a rind,
And taste eternity.

But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time's uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.

-Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

We can't blame others when love dwindles away-
For we knoew from the start it never promised to stay.

It's just one of those things where the stakes are high-
And sometimes it's forever, and sometimes it's good-bye.

When you love the right way, you will never lose-
No matter what path life may force you to choose.

You may end up with tears or a broken heart-
But you knew what you signed up for from the start.

You can only give what you've got to give-
And if that's not enough, then you must continue to live.

Life will go on and broken hearts will heal-
You must continue on your quest, for that's the deal.

Throw your heart into life and never stall-
For the greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.

You see, love if the only thing that we know-
That can be divided and divided but continue to grow.

And life isnt long enough to lock away our heart-
Just because life may have forced two people apart.

We will continue to love and continue to lose-
We will continue to pick and continue to choose.

And then one day we will just risk it all-
Take the chains off our hearts and dismantle the wall.

The last time we love and will be the forever-
And never again will out hearts be forced to sever.

We'll never have doubts that it'll go away-
Because this time, it'll be here to stay.

But until then we must endure all the pain-
For we only see sunshine if we can wait through the rain.

-Kristy Glassen

Just because im posting poems relating to love mean im in love or whatever shit. I just thought they were meaningful and should be shared.

Ive been reduced to re re re re re re reading all my old books and comics because BOTH kino and borders are taking far too long to bring in the new books. By rights, based on american publishing dates, i can buy one book a month all the way till june. From the 4 series im addicted to.

Chic lit of course. Im a bimbo at heart, and trashy novels a ~~requirement~~ necessity.

Nevertheless, reading is still reading, and i still need a form of relaxation that doesnt include spending gobs of -what little- cash i have.

Im kinda freaked out that school is starting. Back to books, back to lectures and back to studying.

But im grateful. And i will give it my all because..

Just because.

The funny thing about (read: ranting time) growing up is that you are sometimes unable to identify and understand the different ways we respond to the respective situations.

Try experiencing jealously, hatred, anger, relief. happiness, hope, pity and overwhelming sadness all at once and you'll get what i mean.

Its like you're lost in a forest and you stumble upon so many different forks at once, and you dont know which way is the best.

Or in this situation, which emotion to deal with first, especially when by rights, you shouldnt be feeling anything at all.

And after talking today, i realize it doesnt just affect me. IM NORMAL!!!

Im eternally grateful that there are people i can talk to, because its all about learning. And its also kinda comforting to know that there are other species of people like me. LOL.

Sigh there we go again. Vulnerability.

And. I may be getting my tattoo soon.

I know i keep saying that.

Ive already got it all planned out. Going to find the translation for 'Moon' in saxon/latin/hebrew and tattoo that. There's a long story behind it which im too lazy to type out.

Its planned, but i wont do it until a turning point happens in my life, the closest one would be school opening. A fresh start. Being abit melodramatic but that's just me. Id rather that than have a big splat of ink somewhere on my body that is totally meaningless.

My body isnt a canvas, and tattoos ARE permanent. Even laser surgery leaves scars.

Well, the only positive thing about today was that i bought the jeans that ive put on reservation forever. Currently being altered and should be ready to take home by tomorrow.

The last pair. LAST.

A suddden realization that today's april fools day. The stupidest and lamest things we did in primary school, and secondary for some.

Those were the days man.

Not that i have loads of happy memories relating school. Now when i think about school, i only think about one thing, and that one thing is enough to make me want to spit fire.

I think im going to take up dancing lessons -belly dance or modern dance- to keep my mind occupied once i tender in my resignation.