endless lit streets and paper cranes

i thought that 'hello moto' thing would be quite cool for sms. but its starting to get annoying.

anyway.

radio ended early yesterday. man. damn ancient equipment. kinda cool though. like, vintage.

then then then. met up with Timmy and went back to his place for a bit. he gave me this shawl thing he got from Dubai and im figuring out how to make it into something wearable. skirt is obvious but what else? hmmm.

then then then. we went to eat prata. yay. damn fulllll. then i took 169 home and daddy picked me up so yes. no need to take bus homeeee.

two random thoughts just walked through my head.

1) why am i happy eating prata? its fattening! shit.

2) canteen 3 is damn windy. and nice. and its making me sleepy.

intended to do the issues essay thing last night, but somehow i didnt go online until 1 and i ended up falling asleep at my desk at around 3. so yes. no go.

set my alarm for 5 and forgot that my phone was on silent. good game!

then i miraculously woke up at 8 and msged Sabby to tell the lecturer i'd attend the next class.

8. wah lao. its like, fate mocking me. purposely one. class starts at 8 you see. see see see. not nice ok!

anyway. dilly dallyed and ended up cabbing to school. did the damn essay thing. chionged like hell. it was no good yeah. no good.

went for lunch with Nigel, Carrie and Peter. and we're still here. at canteen 3. yes. windy place. making me sleeeeepy.

think i'll go running tonight. or maybe swimming. hmmm. must work of fats from food!

ohoh. i think the family is going to China during the two weeks im on break. and hoho no way in hell am i going. if they go, 22nd-27th. wow. id like, have the whole house to myself!

its like, a holiday within a holiday. nyahaha. sleeeeeeeeepover.

Hello!

As compared to yesterday, im totally alright, aside from having a lack of breathe.

Woke up early today. I dont know why i sent my alarm clock to 8 this morning but i woke up at 8 and didnt go back to sleep. I went for a run instead because a) i didnt run yesterday and b) i ate chocolates and went straight to sleep. zzzzz. i could honestly slap myself for that.

the early morning run thing feels good. too bad i dont have the willpower to do that every morning. that and, i dont sweat enough as compared to if i run in the evening.

ANYWAY. prepared for school and left home at 10, thinking i'd cab because id be late if i took public transport. but i wanted to save money so i took the train till jurong east and i realized i only had 5 minutes to get to class. so i cabbed the remaining distance. 13 minutes late. lucky. 2 more and id be marked as absent.

my thighs are aching like fuck.

on a brighter note, the tongue is almost completely ok. i took it out yesterday to clean and it feels weird NOT have a stud inside. it didnt hurt to put the stud back in either. in fact, i didnt even feel anything. i cant wait to change the ball thing. actually, its quite redundant since no one can see it but ah what the heck.

i kinda ripped the piercing a little because i ate too fast. i FELT it rip a little and when i went to check it in the mirror, i could see redder flesh behind the stud, meaning it got ripped forward. didnt hurt though. cool. hey maybe i'll have a numb tongue. yes ar! if that's the case, i'll never burn my tongue on hot foods again!

im starting to hate tuesdays.

Yes i know im being contradictory but fuck. Just ignore this. Posting this because i am selfish and want to complain to PEOPLE in general, but i dont want the people to worry about me. Or ask how i am because im in a mood where acts of kindness will piss me off. Sorry. Just like, ignore. I'll be ok.

I feel like a fucking attention seeking brat who is pretending not to want attention but secretly wants it and all that screwed up shit.

Hear ye hear ye one and all,

im not asking for attention, i really am not. Dont need to tag, dont need to sms, dont need to ask me stuff on msn. Its just a mood. dont get hyped up.

fuck now im sounding egoistic. as if there'll be like, lots of people who'll get hyped up for my sake.

Im feeling lousy. Im in a mood where i just want to isloate myself from the world. Preferably sleep because i know i'll be ok by tomorrow. Nbcb i hate myself when i get into moods like this because its utterly uncalled for and selfish and unnecessary.

im feeling damn pissed off and irritated by everything. even my new phone is pissing the hell out of me. and it didnt even do anything. like, it didnt screw up on me. i think im pmsing. post pms. fuck my hormones.

ok actually now i feel better. ranting helps. oh yes. rant to myself.

ok no fuck. the mood is crashing again. fuck fuck fuck. i should go shoot myself. this is no good.

i think my brain is on overdrive. i am thinking too much. one thought leads to the other kind of thing.

im making a big deal out of nothing, and i supposedly hate people who make mountains out of molehills, which is exactly what im doing now. yay so i shall hate myself.

i need to stop thinking, and push all these fucked up thoughts out of my head. im stronger than this. im above all this shit in my head. i shouldnt HAVE so much shit in my head. god. are my brains turning to fluff now?

i really dont know whats wrong with me. my fingers are flying over the keyboard and typing shit. i have no reason to justify why i feel this way. maybe my brain something wrong. some bipolar thingy i keep reading about.

im stupid. yes i am. i should shoot myself. for no good reason im feeling this way. and life is good. great friends, great boyfriend. in fact, i was cracking up the entire day, feeling on top of the world, high and elated. Timmy even sent me home, the sweet sillyboy. And i had fun poking him and stuff too. shit. im asking for alot. actually no wait, im not asking for anything.

ah i'll stop here. im starting to become incoherent. yes my internal editor is off. like i said, please ignore all that. i am still sane so yeah. i'll still be in school tomorrow. bah.

Currently at the alumni's LAN shop watching timmy, mok and nigel play some CS-ish game and mehul and char playing maple.

im tempted to start a maple account because its so fun mocking the twits. nyahaha.

uuhh. ok update.

yesterday.

woke up and went to causeway with the family. got a new phone. the D&G razr. still trying to get used to motorola.

its so gold and pretty!

ah anyway. got home, changed and went down to harbourfront to look for Singyi. hit the gym first, did another 4K on the treadmill and then we went swimming. ended everything with a nice soak in the hot pool and a while in the sauna. ah.

went to Vivo after that for dinner. bought health smoothies and chilli beef fries and a salad from carl's jr. and headed outside to eat. sat along the er, i dunno, patio thing overlooking the sea. damn nice. we sat there and ate slowly and watched the sky darken.

left around 9 and took 855 to thompson where i got off and met timmy!

took another bus back to yishun and walked through the pasar malam. they still sell old school canes! i wanna buy and hit someone. nyahaha. walked home from there.

uh. we both overslept so we ended up cabbing to school. missed speech comm. i spent the entire soc psych transferring data into my phone. went for lunch at the alumni, handed in peer evaluation and here i am now.

i think i'll go running again later. NIGEL MUST NOT WIN.

3 months. roughly 5-10 kg.

i can do it.

yes ar!

hello!

this is one the rare saturdays im actually at home, or so my mom kindly pointed out a few minutes ago. hur hur.

going to singyi's tomorrow to use the facilities and then hit vivo for dinner. we have yet to check out vivo together. things take on a different perspective when you're with your bestie. hope steve goes tomorrow too. the three of us haven't spent time together in ages, just the three of us i mean.

slept till about 10 today. tried to go back to sleep because bed is such a nice place to be, but i couldnt. so i got up and had breakfast while watching stupid tv.

cartoon network was lame until around 3. NUUUUU. first time cartoon network let me down. what's next?! is msn going to shut down? will they increase the fucking gst by another 2%? will 806 stop running at 6? its a bad omen when cartoon network shows stupid stuff i tell you.

dad bought home lunch so i ate that too. rice and stuff. i just had the stuff. carbo is bad for couch potatoes like yours truly.

went for a run -gasp- at around 4 30 cause i felt fat and round and roly poly after all the food. had a nice run. weather was nice and i didnt have to side step a single bangla. yes ar!

came back, showered, put on the first shirt i saw and went out for dinner with the family and granny. went to uh, east coast. had ALOT of food. nuuuuuu.

a few sticks of satay, a few mouthfuls of hokkien mee and satay beehoon and a stick of ice cream. wah lao. and a can of root beer. baah.

came home and daddy said he wanted to for a run because he ate like, 25776532 times more than i did. lol super cute. anyway, he wanted to run to seletar reservoir and back so i decided to go with him because its a) late-ish b) ulu (im worried for his safety) and c) might as well, since i ate so much.

felt super accomplished when i got back. and showering felt 10 times better. ahh. so. i ran 7km in total today. whee!

made a pact with Nigel. to eat better and exercise more and get better figures. yes! first one to cave in owes the other $100 at sushi tei. nyahaha. 3 months. we'll see how this goes. this whole get-fitter-and-lose-weight shit is best done with friends anyway.

i should get started on assignments due next week. school is stressful this sem. there's assignments every two weeks that are assessed and homework almost every week, i think. boo.

i saw an interesting job advert today. they need a part time waitress at the Halo Bar. like, lol? halo bar's this bar in school. interesting.

i'll go read now. =)

currently eating potatoes with missy quek singyi next to me. im damn happy. i can eat again! but not normal eating yet. everything's to the side of my mouth so i cant taste properly yet.

I AM FUCKING TIRED. Every cell in my body is screaming "SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP!!!" but i'm not sleepy, just tired.

Anyway.

Yesterday.

Did soc psyc in the library until 9 plus and then Singyi, Timmy and i went to dinner at holland v. ate subway. with a knife and fork. LOL.

then we took 61 to harbourfront and sent singyi home. took 855 back to Timmy's because i decided not to go home. reach yishun 1+, stay up the whole night doing soc psyc then leave the house a few hours? naaaah. his place nearer.

so i did soc psyc. im getting pissed off talking about it because we almost nearly didnt get to cover all the 50+ slides in the 15 minutes. we didn't get to show the video. nbcb. bad mood.

anyway. uh. woke up at 6, bathed and wore his band shirt to school. it was longer than my dad's workshirt so yes, i looked like i wasnt wearing shorts again. -.-

cabbed to school cause i was dilly dallying. went to soc psych. got pissed off, left with mehul and went to RP to look for sy. hung around RP for a while and she decided to pon afternoon classes so here we are.

ok ah brain not working properly. seriously. i'll just stone.

Hello!

I saw this in teen's magazine. which i haven't touched in years. i was kindly and not-so-pleasantly reminded why in the penpal corner. which basically translates to the losers-who-dont-have-a-life corner.

anyway.

To Emmanual from Hougang
Excuse me, you are really being very rude. If you still want to be friends, please mind your manners and i will think whether to continue being your friend. From Billiard Queen (you should know who i am as we always play billiards together)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

oh.my.god. it totally screams "TWIT!!!!!!" nyahahahaha. freaking funny.

i wonder if emmanual knows billiard queen wrote this to him? LOOOOL.

sorry. ok.

erm. im in the library now, doing project. boo. socpsych's a drag. im waiting for char and rae and mihu to send me the info so i can put them ont0 the pretty pretty pink slides. nyahahaha.

speech comm was fun just now but. it was kinda sad too because when we were supposed to draw a place of comfort as a child, i blanked out for damn long. i ended up drawing my bed. other people have like, grandma's place, mommy's lap and that kind of stuff. not that i care. i guess i've always been very much on my own.

not anymore now, though. i have you =)

but one memory surfaced. and that was of my dad, carrying me when i was 1 or 2 at like, 3 am in the morning in the kitchen. he was hitting a chopstick on pots and pans and milo tins to "make music". he told me i'd cry and cry and refuse to sleep until he did that. a few nights a week. my dad, i really can't ask for anymore. he's the best =)

speaking of which, im wore my dad's workshirt to school today. basically because i wore that to sleep last night. nyahaha. my pajamas. lazy to force open my cupboard door this morning. im even wearing the shorts i wore out yesterday, which i left on the floor after i got back home. =/ my cupboard door is funky. must get it fixed soon.

whoa suddenly gush of emotion. ok. er. i feel funny. like i have alot to say and yet, nothing to say. like i wanna talk, but nothing to talk about. shit im talking nonsense now so i should just go.

damn my fingers still want to type.

must.

click.

publish.

post.

and.

go.

Hello. Week 6 has kicked off. This semester is really whizzing by. Another 6 weeks more or so and hello long hols! I think. THAILAND PLEASE. Im damn excited for that. I really want that to pull through.

Anyway.

Im in writcomm, starting to feel cold. Thank goodness for the thick sweater in my bag. Yes ar im smart today.

Yesterday. uhhh. Got up and met Timmy at his place and cabbed to school. Lectures the whole day. Couldn't eat but i can chew slushy chunks.

Uh.. went for some disciplinary meeting after school with Char and Mehul. Um. not much to say about that. Timmy waited for me and we went back to his place for a little while. Went home at around 8.

Decided to walk home from Northpoint because i felt that i drank too much sweet stuff during the day. Too much sugar isnt good for my fats. Nyah haha. Too a longer route home. Walking is really good. I think im going to start walking home as much as possible. Provided im not too tired.

Got home and tried to do radio. It took me 5 hours. Msn is not good when you want to focus. Its even worse when the people online make you laugh until your abs hurt. Finished around 3 and went to sleep.

Ah. Radio later. Hope i did the right thing for the assignment. I got a freaking C for my last assignment, i need a better grade, or at least, nothing worse than a C or my GPA is fucked.

After today the week will go by and before i know it, the weekend will be here again!

Singyi: Let's please go to town and like, chill with Steve asap! I miss the three of us hanging out.

Steve: Come out from the under the rock you're hiding under and let's go to town.

Timmy: i promise. =)

Let's go back to uh, 17th November.

At midnight, thus making it 18 Nov, Singyi asked me to go open my door.

And oh god. Timmy was outside with a cake he made himself and singing me happy birthday. I was touched, really really touched. Im freaking lucky, i know. =)

He ended up sleeping over cause yeah, late what. Plus my bed is really comfy when the air con's been on for a while. Nyahahaha.

So yesterday.

I met up with Singyi and Char in the afternoon and we went to town. I got the best gifts from them. A Guess? leather wallet from Singyi (with a freaking coin pouch! i'll only need one wallet from now on) and really really pretty accessories from Char, which she made herself. Yay! Thank you!!

We went to Billy Bombers and sat there for ages eating and talking. It was really nice, better than watching a damn movie. Yes ar!

Then uh, as a birthday gift to myself, i got myself a tongue piercing. So yes, i cannot prounounce words properly and i cant eat solid food either. I only managed to eat a bit of ice cream today. Raar.

Bought a cake and we cabbed back to my place where my mom prepared food and stuff. Nigel, Mok, Mehul, Steve, Rajiv, Des and Timmy came over and yeah, it was nice. Nice birthday.

Singyi, Steve stayed over and Timmy left at 4-ish. He got me this set of awesome speakers. He's too nice to me, really. Yay i love you. =))

**********************

Kept waking at erratic times during the night cause Steve was blasting indie. And the air con was cold. like, damn cold. We wanted to go for prata at 7 but he didnt wake us up so we ended up sleeping in till 12 and lunching at home.

Slacked around the whole day and went to northpoint for dinner. Still cant eat, but i managed to suck down a milkshake so yay. Swelling's gone down alot too.

**********************

Singyi, Steve, Char and Nigel, i cannot find enough words to express my gratitude but thank you so much for everything. I know im never alone because if i fall, you guys will pick me back up. Im one hell of a blessed person. I must have been a freaking saint in my past life.

Hello!

Yesterday.

Yesterday was a nice nice day. Wejt to school for project meeting. Got most of the stuff covered, filming on Sunday.

fuck. i just realized i have a spa thingy with mom on sunday. ahhh. guess i'll forgo it, or squeeze both activities into the short span of a day. bah.

Went to go meet Timmy with Char and Mehul at the library who was doing his filming with his group. I fucking hate the librarian. She's a serious pain in my ass. Like wtf, i cant lie on the beanbags, i cant talk on the phone. I think a few more hours and she'd tell me people in orange werent allowed in the library that day.

(i was wearing steve's gigantic carlitos soccer jersey. yes ar! i look better in it)

waited for steve for damn fucking long and then we all took 61. Timmy and I went to Vivo City to check out the book sale on the ship thing. Cool concept, but not alot of books. Like Timmy said, there's only so much they can do.

Then we wandered around Vivo. We walked on the rooftop wading pool thing. It was darn nice. It was windy and the splashing sounds we made as we walked was soothing. That and the nice scenery, it was almost possible to imagine that there weren't any brats around. =)

Had dinner and then we went back to Yishun to watch 007. Nice movie, and ive never liked the whole action bit much. So yes, watch!

Went back to my place with the intention to watch Borat, but we fell asleep instead. as usual.

***************

Woke up around 8 this morning and slowly prepared for school.

Radio. Mood got kinda killed during radio but yeah, it perked up soon after. Had an ice cream and that helped. whee sugar rush.

waited for Timmy to come to school so i could pass him his stuff and then Char, Mehul, Mok, Nigel and I set off for clementi to meet Singyi and Steve.

Arab street! We wandered around. Tons of cool stores. Im in love with this top. and this pair of shoes. i.must.go.back.soon.

got tired after awhile and went to that shisha place i went to on monday and chilled there. the food is nice. glad to be able to eat after 2 days of surviving on water and a few bites of bread. we did the shisha thingy too. mixed berry flavour.

everyone else left early so Singyi and i stayed there until around 8. it was super nice just sitting there and catching up and gossiping. <3 youuuuu missy quek singyi.

took this one sad photo cause the food was making me sleeeeeepy. *rubs tummy

stopped by coffee bean cause i was thirsty and we went home soon after.

And haaaay people, its my birthday tomorrow. boo yah. one more year (or at least, one more ezlink card) to being legal. nyahahaha. AND NO TIMMY DONT RUB IT IN.

tata!

I feel like shit.

My head's clogged up, my nose is blocked and my throat is on fire.

Im sure there's a logical explanation as to why im still going to school, but whatever it is, its eluding me now.

So yesterday.

Lectures the whole day in the freezing lecture hall, which im sure contributed to my damn flu. I finished 4 packs of strepsils over the course of 6 hours. Tsk. I know there's a "stated dosage" but i was popping them like candy. Throat pain lah.

Spent break in school because it was pouring. Boo! I wanted to go to queensway cause apparently they do piercings cheap. Looks like i cant it now anyways. Not until im better at least, and until i come into more money.

Went to/for(?) shisha with Timmy and his classmates at some shop in arab street. The place is freaking cool. As in, arab street. The shisha place was cool too. Timmy was the only one legal to smoke it, so the rest of us lolled about on the floor talking and stuff. Yep. Pretty cool. Nice atmosphere, but im sure there are nicer. Gonna drag Sy and Steve down there this Thurs or Fri when i dont have classes.

There was this cool lifestyle shop with nice stuff. Seriously. the bags were uber nice. But kinda bulky. and velvet. wont last very long. rain then die. but still nice lah. Timmy got a cool shirt.

Came home, did writcomm and went to sleep, hoping id feel better in the morning. Ahh. I'm supposed to go with Timmy to a booksale on board some ship at Vivo, lets hope im still up to it later. Radio is going to be freezing. boo!

Sigh. Ok. Im off to go prepare and meet Nigel in like, an hour or so. tata.

Hello alllll.

Yesterday saw me..

met Timmy at yishun and we headed down to UWC to see Char's fair thing. Was raining like fuck.

Saw a alldressedup booth to my surprise. Saw Tessy and Cheryl and Mrs Leo. Like whoa, MRS LEO. I wonder if her kids go to school there or something?

Walked around there for abit until Char had to go pack up then Singyi, Timmy and I went to town. Chilled in Starbucks for abit and tried the Christmas drinks. I love the gingerbread latte. It smells so damn christmas-y.

And Singyi and Steve are amazing. The crap they come up with. Damn entertaining. Was laughing like shit in Starbucks. I wonder what id do without them.

Uhh. Then we went to sleazy shopping centres in town looking for somewhere that does tongue piercings below $70 because i dont want to spend so much but to no avail. BOO!!

Ended up in macs at lido talking cock and exploding ketchup packets.

Took a bus back to my place with Timmy and he stayed over. =))

***********************************

woke up at uh, 3 in the afternoon. i love these sunday mornings where i just sleep in and wake up next to him. its one of the simple moments i wish would go on forever.

one among others, of course. =P

laughed at stuff on the computer until around 6 and he left for home while we left for dinner.

im.never.touching.the.food.there.again.EVER.

there's so much fucking msg in it. i was reaching for my water glass after every mouthful. which made me so full even though i didnt eat much. bah.

anyway. i got this off Timmy's blog.

1..2..3 AWWWW!!!

Damn. I normally dont brag but, im the luckiest thing alive. ENVY ME. MUAHAHAHHA.

Eh ok seriously.

TIMMY TAN YOU'RE THE BEST EVER. I LOVE YOUUU!! =)

obviously he added in the words but i think its so cool. naturally heart shaped. we saw it on Friday after school. yess. secret. nyahaha.

alright. i shall go soak my spasmistic fingers in warm water. tata!

Good morning!

Im up disgustingly early, dont know why. Oh well.

Yesterday was fun. Called Sy and Steve to join us too and they came. rahaha. Steve's damn papers are finally over, now for the worst part, waiting. But im sure he'll do fine.

The bus ride to town was uh, interesting for the other commuters. We were talking DAMN loudly about not-bus-friendly topics. Lol. i wonder if any old sticks were cringing at the back of the bus?

We stopped at Tangs and we heard this live band so we went to go see. Along with the christmas lights, the bustling scene, it was one helluva beautiful picture. Im damn psyched for christmas. its like, my favourite holiday! too bad there isnt snow. Boo!

Went for dinner at some Turkish cuisine place Sabby recommend at Far East. It was nice. Was busy feeding my dinner to everyone else but myself cause i wasn't hungry. Ate the veggies though.

Had the turkish ice cream. Lol. Funny. Im sure everyone knows so im not going to elaborate.

Then we walked to our sleazy pool place at the other Far East. Damn funny. Sy and i now owe the guys two dares. fuccccck. that's what i get for going to go buy food!

we dared Nigel to ask a twit for her phone number. you brave brave boy.

Walked to Orchard Towers with Sy and we shared a cabbed. Its cheaper. But the fucking taxi driver kept turning here and there when he could just fucking go STRAIGHT. -.- was damn pissed. so i made him stop outside my block, pretend to search for money and made him turn in after he stopped the meter. he wasn't happy about it but TOO BAD.

fell asleep promptly after getting home. Been doing that alot lately.

Char's UWC thing later at dover. luckily its in the afternoon.

I just bombed the soc psyc pop quiz. OH WELL.

Right. Update.

Yesterday.

Speech comm!

I got a B for my assessed speech. which is not too bad i guess. Char got an A. heh. =P

In the span of two days, i get people (ok fine, an online personality quiz i did for IAC and my results for the speech) telling me im cold, unemotional and unapproachable. Wah lao, so bad meh? I thought i was pretty friendly. IM NICE OK! I DONT BITE!

Went for lunch with Char, Nigel, Mihu and Mok and then we went to the library to do radio and soc psych. Waited for Timmy and then we went to his place.

Left around 11 and cabbed home. Wanted to just stay over cause i was lazy to go home but Dad was being anal. i mean, my mom didnt mind lah. wtf. and he was asleep when i got home, so i didnt get to argue my very logical point with him. boo!

Fell asleep in the clothes i wore to school. Too comfy. Lol.

*******************************

Woke up at 11-ish this morning. Cabbed to Timmy's place.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. I KEEP SPENDING MONEY ON CABS. RAAAH.

Stayed there for a while, printed out soc psych and then we cabbed to school.

See see cab again. (but he paid) -.-

Going for dinner later with a bunch of classmates later. and Timmy. Yay! =)

Must find a place that does tongue piercings cheap. I have this urge to pierce my tongue. I dont know what but i just do. Cheap for today at least, since we're headed to town. Otherwise i'll get daddy to finance it tomorrow. either way.

boo im cold. wearing shorts to tutorials is never a good idea.

AND YAY. STEVE'S LAST PAPER ENDS TODAY. YES AR! Finally!

i love you timmyyyyyy =))

Hello.

Im blogging because im so fucking sleepy. I'm in class now incidentally. Cabbed to school just so i could sleep in more and sleep on the way.

Lets see.

Monday. Lecture day. Like i said, school for the sake of attendance. Went to town during the three hour break. Xianjie was with us so we got to camwhore.

Mocked twits on the bus. woo fun.

polly the bear.

so cute.

sabby and char. <3s>

Happy One Month Timmmyyyyyy. I love you!

Didn't go to school because i wasnt done with the scrapbook i was making. It took me 13 hours to finish. I dont know why it took me so long though. Probably because of msn, and cause the damn glitter glue takes so damn long to dry.

My room was an amazing mess. Every available surface area within the vincinity of my table was used up.

But who cares, it was worth it! =))

i hope you like it

Singyi came round after school and we hung out more. Steve was supposed to come like, at 3 but as usual. He came 1/2 an hour before we had to leave.

We took the same bus to upper thompson. OH YES. Some mother toad nbcb twit ite student fucking hit into the bag with the scrapbook and didnt even have the bloody decency to fucking apologize. Wah lao i was damn pissed lah. Even though nothing was damaged, what, didnt your mom teach you manners? I went "asshole" really loudly and the whole back of the bus was staring at me. LOL. I think Steve wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.

Went to Timmy's and we went to town from there. Watched The Convenant. It wasnt that fantastic. Its main selling point would be the lead actors. Supposedly hot, but not very good at acting. The music and the uh, i dno, editing i guess, was cool.

Cabbed home.

And. Im so freaking sick and tired of all the shit that's going on now. I used to not be affected but i can feel myself slowly weakening. I dont want to weaken. I cant afford to. I really can't.

I just thank God for my friends, and for Timmy. Least i have people to go to when im falling.

Hello. Because im like, bored, i shall do a survey thingy i ripped of Mok's blog. Socpsych lecture is a joke. Im like listening to music, courtesy of Mok's (again, he seems to be providing all the entertainment for me today) headphones lah.

1. Are you photogenic?
only if my head is tilted 45.678 degrees to to the right, bathed in soft sunlight with no flash and with perfect white balance.

2. What time do you go to bed?
it ranges from 11pm to 5am. and this is giving me eye bags according to mr. timmytan. boo! dont have LOR. =P

3. What was the last thing you did before this?
uh. (still) talking to SINGYI.

4. Who's the one you always meet the most?
Singyi, Timmy, Steve, Char, Mok, Mihu and Nigel. There's isnt just one.

5. Who's the person you'll call if you need help?
most likely Singyi.

6. What's on your mind right now ?
im making a mental list of the various species of birds i intend to kill with a slingshot later.

7. Which do you prefer? American idol or Singapore idol?
neither. i never liked the show.

8. With whom do you have the most fun?
Singyi, Timmy, Steve, Char, Mok, Mihu and Nigel. Like i said, there's isnt just one.

9. Which movie do you wanna watch now?
The Covenent.

10. When was the last time you went out? Who did you go out with?
Ummm. Yesterday with the family.

11. What do you hate the most for now?
the fucked up situation that's leaving me hanging.

12. What do you do everyday besides eat and sleep?
uh. online 24567887432588765432 times a week.

13. Colors that make you happy ?
colours dont make me happy. im supposed to look at a colour and laugh or something?

14. Favourite thing/s in your room ?
my BED LAH. what else.

15. Miss someone?
oh yes. TIMMY TAN I MISS YOU KAYS.

16. Plan to buy something?
Yepyepyep.

17. Are you satisfied with your life now?
yeah more or less.

18. Do you like seafood?
no. cant eat it anyways. im allergic.

19. Breakfast or dinner?
dinner. breakfast makes my tummy funky.

20. Do you like chocolates?
hell yes.

21. Do you have a laptop?
yes. a nice,white, pure and in-not-such-great-shape ibook.

22. What's your favorite fast food?
id reckon subway.

23. Cats or dogs?
CATSCATSCATSCATSCATSCATSCATSCATSCATSCATSCATS

24. Salty or sweet?
salty in the evening and sweet in the day.

25. Urban or rural?
urban. who the fuck can survive in a place without internet connection and satellite tv?

26. Is kissing normal for your age?
yupyupyup.

27. Are you athletic?
HAHAHAHAHA. 'mona' and 'athletic' are practically an oxymoron.

28. Favourite bands for now?
i dont have favourites lah. anything nice can already.

29. Do you have your own cell phone?
yes. who is sadly dying.

30. What do you wear to bed?
shorts and thin baggy tee.

31. Ever had a crush on a teacher in high school?
hell no.

32. Coke or pepsi?
pepsi. its sweeter.

33. Sugar or spice?
spice baby, spice!

34. Can you use chopsticks?
yeah. but in the "wrong" way.

35. Do you care about getting good grades?
ummmm. i.guess.so.

36. Have you ever fallen asleep in class?
of course. its part of the whole student package.

37. Get a job or ask your parents for money?
get a job. taking money from parents feel funky. but i still take lah cause no choice. LOL.

38. Is your mom strict?
not really. probably pushes a 4 on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the least.

39. Do your parents give you enough privacy?
yes.

40. Do your parents trust you?
once again, probably a 8.

41. Would you ever wanna lose your best friends?
never.

42. Does your best friend gets on your nerves?
HAHAHA. nah. she's too funny.

43. Do you make friends quickly?
not really. im still too quiet than i like.

44. Do you tell your mom everything?
no.

45. What do you and your parents fight about most?
about me taking the home like a hotel and never doing housework blah blah blah.

46. If you love someone and he/she rejected you, what would you do to him/her?
nothing lah. on to the next!

47. Can you sing or rap?
sing. or as i like to think.

48. Finally, what do you wish for?
To be superhuman! and for a banana.

Three hour break later.

I hope the rest of today turns out alright. I have a feeling it isnt going to be a good day, or that something bad will happen so everyone please take care. Especially SINGYI TIMMY STEVE CHAR MIHU MOK AND NIGEL.

The omnious feeling was brought about by the fact a series of rather bad events happened this morning.

First, i woke up late and had to rush like hell. which i hate.

Second, i missed the 806 and had to speed walk like hell to catch it at the other bus stop like, 5 blocks away.

Third, i got hit on by twit. from ite. im not discriminationg against ITE students mind you, i know smart ones and i have friends from there but twit? shudders. wtf. why do i keep attracting twits. time to change my image maybe. boo!

Fourth, 169 took like 234577874563452342 minutes to come, and while i was waiting for the 169, the next 806 i could have waited for came. DOH DOH DOH.

Fifth, cabbed to school with Timmy, but the traffic was like shit lah.

Sixth, brain went on overload and decided to think too much. But that passed really fast so.

Yes. Normally, by the perverse rules of nature, the bad stuff will keep on coming until i get home safely into bed or until i get run down by a cement mixer.

OH WELL.

Now to sit back, freeze, and try to get past the next 1 hour or so. Thank God Singyi and Timmy are online. And for The Subways.

*edit

im back in lecture hall. shit its cold already. went to town for lunch. subway subway.

think im meeting mommy dearest for dinner later.

and since my blog has been like, photo deprived recently..

me and charmaine choochoo train.

And.

Steve, i'll put a photo of us three when we actually take a decent one together. We all look funky in that.

CONGRATS FOR YOUR SS PAPER YOU BOPE. IM DAMN HAPPY FOR YOU CAN.

I wanted to start squealing and stuff but in the middle of lecture so cannot lah. BUT. DAMN im happy for you. =)) Im going to buy you one big ass meal if you do well.

boo writcomm's starting.

Ive deleted the past i dont know, 10 drafts ive written.

If i were to describe how im feeling now, it would be a strange and not very cocktail-friendly mix of anger, weariness, sadness, hurt, disgust, discontempt, wrath and strangely, relief.

Im really really tired. I dont want to be played anymore. When the FUCK is "the end" ever going to come? And for all you asswipes who think im referring to Timmy, im not so save your fucking gloating on my tagboard.

ha. sorry to have ruined the few mere seconds of "fun" you could have indulged in.

I realize im being selfish by writing this here, and perhaps even attention seeking but fuck. I dont give shit anymore. Im too tired.

Months after months of this endless tirade and im starting to question why no one bothers to go to the root of the fucking problem and just fucking solve it there. Why the whole go-around-the-damn-huckleberry-bush and feigning niceties and settling under the veneer of pretense and thinly coated rage?

The hell with it! Chuck it in the fucking trash can! Let it fly out of the damn window! Throw caution into the bloody wind! I mean, the son of a bitch is there!!! Go after him with a parang or something!! I dont see why I have to fucking suffer (as well as all the people who actually care about me) just because of stupidity and alot more of immaturity.

Sometimes i hate myself for not being able to do anything. I wish i could actually do something to put a stop to it all that doesnt necessitate jail time.

God. GROW UP FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. Always telling me to be mature and all that shit. Practice what you fucking preach.

Im damn damn damn tired of all this shit. Makes me wonder why i even bother trying to tolerate it and yet STILL obey rules. Fuck. Whatever the hell for. Right before my eyes im seeing rules being broken and vows being nothing more than empty promises. oh yeah. i SHOULD follow rules. -.-

Nbcb. Everything's coming out of the closet now. Thank you for letting everything hit me at one go like a big yellow school bus.

Its always the same. 2 weeks or so of peace (or less), and then WHAM. And the cycle goes on as such. I used to wonder why i wasnt very affected by it all after a while.

Now i believe its called being immune. I refuse to waste anymore tears. I dont feel much sadness anymore. Its an emotion i cannot have the luxury of having unnecessarily.

Tell me, how do i numb myself?

And, thanks for playing me over and over again. I know you're doing it unintentionally (wow now i know why i do that sometimes too. its fucking genetic! woohoo!) but dammit. Enough is enough already! Im lucky im pretty jaded to all this, or id be a wreck. But coming from you guys of all people. It still feels like someone is poking me with a damn voodoo doll nonstop.

I cant believe what ive read about in books and watched on telly and heard of would actually be part of my reality. As a kid i wondered how it'd feel like. Now i know. -.-

BUT.

Despite all this. I sense that the end is near very soon and while it may be the be all and end all for most people, im relieved. No more mediating, no more having to blast itunes on lousy ibook speakers, no more feeling torn, no more feeling pressured to make a split second decision and take sides and most of all, a thin hope of sanity looms somewhere.

Then again, maybe not.

Hello!

I shall start off the post with bimbotic rambling.

NBCB im super pissed with myself. I dont know why, but ive been totally neglecting skincare/basic grooming for the past week or so and the results of my laziness have started to show.

My skin for one looks like crap. It looks so sallow and im not even going to talk about the state of my pores. Yech. Im doing a face mask now, i could practically hear my skin cry with relief.

My hair is like crap too. I've been going to school without putting wax in it so goodness knows whether the curls are still there. Mona you lazy shit.

And i havent been eating well, so the rest of my has been bruising really easily and yeah, im going to look really nasty if i dont do something now.

ALSO.

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. Like seriously! I know i keep going on and on about wanting to lose weight, but ive never actually gotten around to doing it BUT THAT STOPS TODAY.

No more unhealthy stuff, no more snacking, and exercise whenever possible.

OK. enough rambling.

Today.

Met Timmy in the morning and we cabbed to school because i was feeling too tired for the bus. Only had about 2 hours of sleep last night. Thank God im done with radio. Need to get that printed though.

The silloy boy paid for the cab fare AGAIN. NUUUUUUU. He's too nice to me, i swear.

Had speech comm presentation and i think it went rather ok. I forgot to mention a little here and there and i didnt exactly like the tone of my delivery but hey, i think i did pretty alright. I hope lah anyway.

So like. A bunch of us and some T106-ers went for lunch at some prata place near school. I had a milo dino which is freaking bad for my skin, health and calorie limit. SEE. NO WONDER WHY IM FAT. lalala~ Went with Timmy to Beautyworld plaza or whatever to look at stuff. Like whoa the place is seriously sleazy. I dont know what's up with me but i keep going to sleazy places. Like i keep seeing that word when i re-read my entries.

Walked back to school and i took a bus back.

OH. SPEAKING OF WHICH.

Bloody.855.bus.driver. He will BURN IN HELL. I wish i had my speech comm invention. I'd just break the doll in half and get it over with.

I paid like, 90 cents or something cause i had like no more coins and the fella was like giving me attitude saying it wasnt enough and like, scolding me for 'wasting' his time. WAH LAO. SIT IN THE DAMN BUS AND DRIVE AROUND ONLY.what time has he got for me to waste?! if im wasting anyone's time, it's the commuters! fuck! i was seriously damn pissed and just stormed off the bus lah. then this man told me there was a petrol kiosk down the road so i could change money and i strolled down this lane of houses.

like. oh.my.god. there was this house in particular that was amazing. it was too cool. all done up in Zen theme with dark wood and glass. and the house was huge lah. lucky people.

anyway. i never found the petrol kiosk but i enjoyed the walk. it was going to rain so the air was cool and there was wind. ended up changing coins with some students from some school. thank you!

got home and crashed onto bed until now. i wonder how im going to sleep tonight. and damn classes are at 9 tomorrow i believe.

one last pic before i go.

byebye!

ah throw it all at me. i know whom i can go to for strength. =)

i really am blessed, arent i?

i love you!

Hello!

Halloween was fun yesterday. And i have a ton of photos to upload. The old Poptarts one and the halloween ones.

Actually there are still a bunch of photos im missing cause they're with Char. And Steve' bdae celebration too.

Poptarts first!

Char, Sy and Mihu! At Sabby's preparing.

Me and Pretty Boy Shafik.

Me and bollywood star Mihu!

Me and Mok! My lifesaver when it comes to my lappie.

Me and crazy Nigel.

Me and bestie Sy!

And again.

And again and again.

we got hit by the twit bug from the twit post so...

BEHOLD

1o!

Yes you can slap us.

Me and steve!! Wonderwall bope!!

Mihu, Steve and I

LOL.

rainbow nipples!

ahaha inside joke.

Smile =)

OK. now, halloween!

We prepared at my place and then cabbed to town. HAHA. Rae freaked out the taxi driver when she told Singyi she could see dead people in a totally nochalant tone. we couldnt stop laughing.

People were commenting on how Singyi and I looked like zombies and how our makeup looked really authentic. YAY.

We ate at NYDC and then walked along orchard road shouting "We'll sing for candy!" and "Happy halloween!"

Saw groups of other people dressed up too we were like, "Happy Halloween!" and we took photos and stuff. waiting for them to send them to me.

Uh. Took ages to get a cab home because this damn father/son pair stole our cab and had the bloody gall to wave to us! I waved back but then wondered why the heck i was waving and gave them the finger instead. Nbcb not gentlemenly.

EDMUND. WHY YOU GO TOWN SO LATE ONE.