endless lit streets and paper cranes

i just got home from work, and by work i really mean "serving 40 year old brats".

i guess i will be rambling. i'm really tired, but i cannot sleep. i haven't updated in a pretty long time, so this is pretty much in response to Sy's tag.

i've been thinking about the future alot recently. it might be the fact that graduation is nearing, or it might have been the tuna i had for lunch. on the whole i think it's the latter but anyway.

you once said, "what's good a dream if you don't have anyone to share it with".

i have been thinking about that in relation to my nicely-figured-out-practically-colour-coded-future, and also to things i've been witness to.

i'm quite a control freak when it comes to the bigger things (and certain smaller things) that concern my future, and i've never liked the whole "taking things a step at a time" mindset. i've seen what happens when you don't plan properly, especially the consequences. they're not pretty.

(i do have a point, at the end of all this)

i can also pretty much safely say i've never experienced loneliness. i've been fortunate enough to always have had someone by my side. Whether that someone was one whom i shared kisses with, or clothes with, there has always been someone. and i believe that is because i've made sure i never have to, because loneliness is a terrible thing to experience. it's happening to people i know now, and i can't do jack shit about it.

i don't wish loneliness upon anybody I TRULY CARE ABOUT, and if that loneliness is the consequence of my stubborn determination to pursue my picture perfect plans of the future, then well,

what's good a dream with no one to share it with indeed.

byebye, pink colour coded dream. maybe another day :)