Its the crack of the dawn but im up.
Poptarts was better than i expected.
we ponned school and chilled at Rae's and then went over to Sabby's to prepare. It was funny the way we were shoving each other away for the mirror. Yes, guys too. =P
No pictures yet.
Took a bus from Sabby's. Something got into me and Singyi and we kept doing twit poses. Heck, we even came up with a twit version for Barney's "I love you, you love me" song. rahaha.
Reached Dhoby and met up with DESMOND TAN HIANG MIN. damn i havent seen him in ages. im glad you went Des, and im sorry if you were bored. raaah. we'll have a proper catch up session some day aite?
Set off for Fort Canning. I freaking hate all the damn steps. Quoting Shafik,
Why cant they build escalators?
Good question.

FMS!
So it was pretty boring at the beginning. We even wanted to leave after half an hour. The food was like gone, the bazaar was uh.. actually there was this shirt i kinda liked but i needed the money for the cab ride home so. OH WELLS.
Things perked up after 9 when they started playing better music and when the years 2s started to dance. So there was this "mood" in the air and, i dno, we all got kinda high i guess. Went to the front and started dancing and dancing. I was feeling the calories drop off me. Ahaha. ok jumping in heels is not a very smart thing to do but thank God i didnt fall or anything.
Jeremy was SUPER HIGH. Which was a catching thing. Haha we even started a conga line, which kept breaking up but nevermind.
Dancing with the girls was fun. We all go clubbing one day kays?
And now for the highlight of the night.
I know i complain alot. In this blog. about how i wish was thinner, about how i wish i had money to spend, about how lucky other people are etc.
If i sit down and think about it properly, ive actually got a really good life going for me. Good school, good course, great friends, relatively normal family, health etc.
And Timmy. I dont think im lucky to have him. Im blessed.
I, i, i dont even know how to being typing this. Im at a loss for words.
I'll use the term 'lucky', even though i prefer 'blessed' but fine not everyone can accept 'blessed'.
if there was anything in the world that could re-write the definition of 'lucky', it would be those few moments last night.
Those few moments when Timmy called me to go out to the gate, those few moments when i finally got what is was that he was driving me crazy with suspense with.
Especially that moment when he held out a bouquet of roses.
I started crying. And i couldnt stop, even after he went to get admission and even after i rejoined my friends. what the heck, im crying as im typing this.
do you want to know what it felt like? it felt beyond romantic. it was a singular gesture that said so much and will leave but a beautiful memory. This is one of things you'll never forget y'know? Its right up there with your first kiss, first car etc.
It felt like, i dno, a whole tangle of emotions just flooded me and it was completely overwhelming. yes of course i was very touched. deeply. no one else has ever bothered to do so much for me. oh yes pretty sad but hey, things are changing. =)
I felt love, of course, and joy, and wonder at how someone could be so amazingly sweet.
I also felt fear. so so so much fear of losing him. its not one of those silly relationships you can get over in a week or a few days, nope.
But you know what, fear or not, i love this boy and im willing to go through whatever that may come our way together with him.
Hello Timmy!
You were right, id find out anyway and oh gosh it was so worth the wait. You're one amazing amazing person you know that? You ask how i can love someone like you, and i ask you, how can i not? Thank you so much!
Im glad that, despite the apprehension, that i allowed myself to fall for you. Hard.
And im even more glad, and thankful, that later, i let myself love you. With all my heart. Its a first. You know how sometimes you say "i love you" to another person because they say it to you first and that you dont want to hurt them? this is definitely not one of those times. I LOVE YOU!!
Im seriously at a loss for words now. Which doesnt really happen. Timmy, i love you so very much. You make all the mistakes ive made in the past worth it. Im willing to give you everything, and sacrifice anything along the way if i have to. It maybe a childish thought, but i really hope that you're my last.
And i was right. About how maybe id get what love is for the first time. I did. It wasnt the roses that promted this, it was that singular gesture you made. You could have given me anything, a marshmellow or have had written something behind an old reciept and id still have cried and written all this anyway.
The short of it all,
I love you beyond all words, and beyond all descriptions.



even Shakespear or Goethe or Keats could put what i feel into words.