Apparently the world thinks that I am not allowed to be emo, thus whenever i put up sad, emo-ish posts i am uh, what's that again, "craving attention", "acting emo" and "wanna-be", i shall post a happy post.
Fuck all of you who think the only emotion i am "allowed" to have is happy. Ever occured to you that i dont air EVERY single problem i have on my blog, thus it seems im "happy" all the time? I dont need people to know every single detail of my life, thank you very much.
ANYWAYS.
Three hour lunch break was spent at kap and cold storage. we were looking for kinder surprise but DONT HAVE. so we ended up buying other stuff. lots of other stuff.
me thinks nigel makes a good family man.
mini m&ms to stuff into
marshmellows!
we didnt get around to doing that so, tomorrow tomorrow!
we bought christmas crackers too. there were super pretty ones but, $30+ so uh..
so school dragged on. another new assignment for writcomm. bah.
went to Timmy's after school and cabbed home after.
oh yes. took this yesterday:
they looked so pretty in the shop window! lol.
i hate how its always in my head.
surfacing at the times i least expect
and that's when it hits me the hardest.
i try to brush it away,
shove it back down into the darker abysses of my brain.
because that's all i can do,
brush,
shove.
i cannot get rid of it,
because it wont go.
im tired.
im tired of thinking about it.
im tired of letting it affect me.
im tired of the effects it has on me.
im tired of losing.
im tired of not being stronger.
i wish that day would fade from its existance,
everything that happened on that day wiped out into nothingness.
i wish it never happened,
i hate it.
i hate me.
i hate you.
